Primary romantic attachment styles

There are three primary romantic attachment styles . One quick way to discover your is to choose which of the following descriptions best describes you. Take a minute to do this:

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Secure attachment style:I find it relatively easy to get close to others and am comfortable depending on them and having them depend on me. I do not often worry about being abandoned or about someone getting close to me.

Avoidant attachment style:I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others. I find it difficult to trust them completely and difficult to allow myself to depend on them. I am nervous when anyone gets too close, and often, love partners want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being.

Anxious/ambivalent attachment style:I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I often worry that my partner does not really love me or will not want to stay with me. I want to merge completely with another person, and this desire sometimes scares people away. (Kenrick, Neuberg, & Cialdini, 2007 p.270)

In a 2- to the following:

  • Based on the above descriptions what romantic attachment style best describes you?
  • How has this attachment style affected your past and/or current relationships?
  • How has this attachment style also affected your ?
  • Is your romantic attachment style similar to the attachment style you had with your parents when you were young?
  • If it is the same why do you think it has not changed? If it is different what experiences as an adult do you think lead to this change?
  • What type of situations might an adult experience that would shift their to a different adult romantic relationship style?
  • Secure (as a child) to anxious/ambivalent (as an adult)
  • Avoidant (as a child) to secure (as an adult)


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